27th December is the date. That is the day that I up and leave Australia for a month with 11 other school peers whom I barely know, to spend a month trekking, volunteering and sight seeing in India Uttaranchal. Needless to say, I am absolutely terrified. For any normal person, I suppose they can see what I mean - unfamiliar people, unfamiliar destination, unfamiliar language. But then add on my growing irrational anxiety and stress about nearly everything I encounter, and suddenly doubts and questions will not leave me. What if I don't have enough warm clothing? What if my pack is too heavy? What if I hate everyone? (Pretty much assumed for me). What if I don't enjoy myself what if I fall in a river i don't have a duck down jumper im going to get sick and not enjoy anything everyone will piss me off ill get blisters all my friends are in the other group.. the list goes on, and has been for the past 15 or so months. You probably think there is something wrong with me, but to be honest, it kind of ends up one of those blurry recurring thoughts that appear at the back of your brain but never get fully recognised. That isn't to say that it doesn't affect me. God, does it affect me. I'm the biggest worrier and stress head and I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I took on this expedition in June last year.
So right now I sound like a completely selfish, horrid teenager who doesn't realise the opportunity she has been given. Don't think that. I do, most definitely. However, what I let myself do is get waaaaay too caught up in the logistics of everything and not think about the big picture - I am going on an expedition. To India. In year 10. I get to trek in the Himalayas, and see Dehli, where cows get right of way before cars. I get to work in a rural community in Jaipur for a week and really attempt to create something useful and long-lasting. I get to shop in Indian markets and cook Indian food and bond so well with people who, otherwise, I probably never would have become great friends with.
Maybe I just need to take a step back and consider my position. I know, no matter what, I am going to enjoy myself. That is, first and foremost, the most important thing, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that I achieve this. After all, all of my work money from the past two years is going towards this expedition.
Have I confused anyone? I am speaking completely out of order.
For those who don't know, I am participating in the World Challenge program, in which a group of school students go to one of 40 countries to participate in an expedition. The most unique thing about this program is the way that the students themselves choose where they want to go, what they want to do, and how they want to help. They also are in charge of raising their money, conducting pre-expedition meetings, fundraising if need be, and generally preparing for the trip. When the students are over in the country, they are also in charge of the money, in charge of budgeting, booking hotels, catching transport, cooking food and other day-to-day needs. There is a teacher and a World Challenge leader also on the expedition to help the students work together. Before the trip, there is 18 months of lead up work, in which you plan everything expedition-related, up until the Build Up Day, the day before your flight.
When my year was approached with this opportunity in June last year, I initially thought that it sounded amazing, but it was something I would never do.Not because I'm not very fit or don't like trekking, but just because it takes SO much committment and preparation, and I'm not very good with these sorts of things, what with my over-stressing on a daily basis. I really didn't need something so major on top of that.
Yet here I am.
Over a year later, with all of my research, and stories that I have heard about India, the culture, the food, the people, the land, I have realised - I wouldn't change it for the world.
It is the 12th of September right not - 105 days to go.
I will let you all know how I progress.
